What is Anger?
Anger is an emotion associated with confrontation or judgement. The hostile thoughts and images that come to mind result in anger and various physiological reactions (eg: pounding heart) and may influence behavior.
Anger is a feeling, but is often associated with certain thoughts, behaviors, and physiological responses.
Anger may be expressed in many different ways. People may use silent treatment, sarcastic comments, or physical aggression. Others may state plainly and politely that they are angry.
Anger is a secondary emotion; this means that it comes after or is caused by a different emotion first.
How does anger help us?
Anger alerts us to situations that are not to our liking. It suggests something is wrong or unfair about something that is important to us.
Anger also sharpens our awareness of ourselves and others. It energizes us and can motivate us.
Finally, anger can encourage us to examine our expectations of ourselves and others.
Despite the negative associations people make with anger, it is a natural, normal, and necessary emotion.
How can anger cause problems when not managed effectively?
Anger can lead to hurtful, damaging situations (tantrums, insensitivity, verbal abuse, violence).
Health problems can arise from anger. Since anger is stress reaction, people with anger problems are at a greater risk for stress related illnesses and physical problems, such as high blood pressure, heart attacks, sleep disorders, and fatigue.
There is no doubt that frequent and intense anger can be harmful.
Anger is a problem when it:
-Is too frequent or chronic
-Is too intense, as in rage
-Impairs health\
-Impairs relationships
-Impairs performance at work, school, or leisure
-Hinders personal and spiritual growth
Anger Styles Questionnaire
Consider whether each of the following statements are true for you. Your answers will help you discern which style(s) of anger you lean towards.
1) I try never to get angry
2) I get really nervous when others are angry
3) I feel I'm doing something bad when I get angry
4) I tell people I'll do what they want, but then I often forget
5) I say things like "Yeah, but..." and "I'll do it later"
6) People tell me I must be angry but I'm not sure why
7) I get jealous a lot, even when there is no reason
8) I don't trust people very much
9) Sometimes it feels like people are out to get me
10) My anger comes on really fast
11) I act before I think when I get angry
12) My anger goes away very quickly after I explode
13) I get very angry when people criticize me
14) People say I am easily hurt and oversensitive
15) I get angry when I feel bad about myself
16) I get mad to get what I want
17) I try to scare others with my anger
18) I can pretend to be very mad when I'm really okay
19) Sometimes I get angry just for the excitement or action
20) I like the strong feelings that come with my anger
21) My anger takes over and I go out of control
22) I seem to get angry all the time
23) I just can't break the habit of getting angry a lot
24) I get mad without thinking - it just happens
25) I become very angry when I defend my beliefs and opinions
26) I become outraged about others try to get away with
27) I always know when I am right in an argument
28) I hang on to my anger for a long time
29) I have a hard time forgiving people
30) I hate people for what they've done to me
Anger Styles Overview
Use your answers from the questionnaire above as a guide to help you find which anger styles fit you. You might lean heavily towards one or two styles, or relate to more of them. Read through them all and decide for yourself which you identify with.
Hidden Styles - These individuals are partly or mostly unaware/unaccepting of their anger.
a) Anger Avoidance
- If you identified with statements 1,2, and 3, this style may describe you.
- Anger avoidance is caused by the belief that anger is bad, scary, or useless. It cannot be used appropriately this way.
- Treatment includes learning assertiveness, separating the concepts of selfishness and self-caring, and giving yourself permission to be angry.
b) "Concealed" Anger
- If you identified with statements 4, 5, and 6, this style may describe you.
- "Concealed" anger often looks like passive aggressive behavior and tries to cause frustration through inaction
- Treatment includes learning to give direct "yes" or "no" answers, focusing on positive goals, and finding the reasons behind passive and indirect behavior.
c) Paranoia
- If you identified with statements 7, 8, and 9, this style may describe you.
- Paranoia will cause projection of anger onto others, as well as respond defensively with anger or aggression
- Treatment includes taking responsibility for ones emotions and anger, becoming aware of vigilant behavior, and developing trust.
Explosive Styles - These individuals periodically demonstrate their anger and aggression through dramatic outbursts.
a) Sudden Anger
- If you identified with statements 10, 11, and 12, this style may describe you.
- Sudden anger comes out as rapid, usually short-lived, intense bursts.
- Treatment includes slowing down anger, time outs, and gaining awareness of the building stages of anger.
b) Shame Based Anger
- If you identified with statements 13, 14, and 15, this style may describe you.
- Shame based anger perceives an attack on a person's core self. Anger may be directed to oneself through self destruction.
- Treatment includes addressing the connection between shame and rage, building self esteem, and addressing shaming and blaming issues.
c) Deliberate Anger
- If you identified with statements 16, 17, and 18, this style may describe you.
- Deliberate anger is expressed purposely in order to intimidate.
- Treatment includes discussing the gains and losses of the behavior, empathy training, and communication skills training.
d) Excitatory Anger
- If you identified with statements 19, 20, and 21, this style may describe you.
- Excitatory anger seeks the intensity that comes with a rush of anger.
- Treatment includes commitment to moderation and calmness, seeking a new lifestyle, and acknowledging stimulant addiction pattern.
Chronic Styles - These individuals have developed long term anger patterns that keep them angry, bitter, and resentful.
a) Habitual Anger
- If you identified with statements 22, 23, and 24, this style may describe you.
- Habitual anger is fueled by automatic thoughts and actions, and perpetuates non-functional anger.
- Treatment includes increasing awareness of behavior, focusing on a person's choices, and practicing new behavior.
b) Moral Anger
- If you identified with statements 25, 26, and 27, this style may describe you.
- Moral anger is perceived as just, righteous, for a greater cause than oneself.
- Treatment includes empathy in order to de-villianize others, and emphasis on humanity and equality.
c) Resentment / Hate
- If you identified with statements 28, 29, and 30, this style may describe you.
- Resentment causes one to treat others as loathsome and unforgivable.
- Treatment includes giving acceptance to oneself as gift, learning to let go of the past, and resentment prevention.
Anger is an emotion associated with confrontation or judgement. The hostile thoughts and images that come to mind result in anger and various physiological reactions (eg: pounding heart) and may influence behavior.
Anger is a feeling, but is often associated with certain thoughts, behaviors, and physiological responses.
Anger may be expressed in many different ways. People may use silent treatment, sarcastic comments, or physical aggression. Others may state plainly and politely that they are angry.
Anger is a secondary emotion; this means that it comes after or is caused by a different emotion first.
How does anger help us?
Anger alerts us to situations that are not to our liking. It suggests something is wrong or unfair about something that is important to us.
Anger also sharpens our awareness of ourselves and others. It energizes us and can motivate us.
Finally, anger can encourage us to examine our expectations of ourselves and others.
Despite the negative associations people make with anger, it is a natural, normal, and necessary emotion.
How can anger cause problems when not managed effectively?
Anger can lead to hurtful, damaging situations (tantrums, insensitivity, verbal abuse, violence).
Health problems can arise from anger. Since anger is stress reaction, people with anger problems are at a greater risk for stress related illnesses and physical problems, such as high blood pressure, heart attacks, sleep disorders, and fatigue.
There is no doubt that frequent and intense anger can be harmful.
Anger is a problem when it:
-Is too frequent or chronic
-Is too intense, as in rage
-Impairs health\
-Impairs relationships
-Impairs performance at work, school, or leisure
-Hinders personal and spiritual growth
Anger Styles Questionnaire
Consider whether each of the following statements are true for you. Your answers will help you discern which style(s) of anger you lean towards.
1) I try never to get angry
2) I get really nervous when others are angry
3) I feel I'm doing something bad when I get angry
4) I tell people I'll do what they want, but then I often forget
5) I say things like "Yeah, but..." and "I'll do it later"
6) People tell me I must be angry but I'm not sure why
7) I get jealous a lot, even when there is no reason
8) I don't trust people very much
9) Sometimes it feels like people are out to get me
10) My anger comes on really fast
11) I act before I think when I get angry
12) My anger goes away very quickly after I explode
13) I get very angry when people criticize me
14) People say I am easily hurt and oversensitive
15) I get angry when I feel bad about myself
16) I get mad to get what I want
17) I try to scare others with my anger
18) I can pretend to be very mad when I'm really okay
19) Sometimes I get angry just for the excitement or action
20) I like the strong feelings that come with my anger
21) My anger takes over and I go out of control
22) I seem to get angry all the time
23) I just can't break the habit of getting angry a lot
24) I get mad without thinking - it just happens
25) I become very angry when I defend my beliefs and opinions
26) I become outraged about others try to get away with
27) I always know when I am right in an argument
28) I hang on to my anger for a long time
29) I have a hard time forgiving people
30) I hate people for what they've done to me
Anger Styles Overview
Use your answers from the questionnaire above as a guide to help you find which anger styles fit you. You might lean heavily towards one or two styles, or relate to more of them. Read through them all and decide for yourself which you identify with.
Hidden Styles - These individuals are partly or mostly unaware/unaccepting of their anger.
a) Anger Avoidance
- If you identified with statements 1,2, and 3, this style may describe you.
- Anger avoidance is caused by the belief that anger is bad, scary, or useless. It cannot be used appropriately this way.
- Treatment includes learning assertiveness, separating the concepts of selfishness and self-caring, and giving yourself permission to be angry.
b) "Concealed" Anger
- If you identified with statements 4, 5, and 6, this style may describe you.
- "Concealed" anger often looks like passive aggressive behavior and tries to cause frustration through inaction
- Treatment includes learning to give direct "yes" or "no" answers, focusing on positive goals, and finding the reasons behind passive and indirect behavior.
c) Paranoia
- If you identified with statements 7, 8, and 9, this style may describe you.
- Paranoia will cause projection of anger onto others, as well as respond defensively with anger or aggression
- Treatment includes taking responsibility for ones emotions and anger, becoming aware of vigilant behavior, and developing trust.
Explosive Styles - These individuals periodically demonstrate their anger and aggression through dramatic outbursts.
a) Sudden Anger
- If you identified with statements 10, 11, and 12, this style may describe you.
- Sudden anger comes out as rapid, usually short-lived, intense bursts.
- Treatment includes slowing down anger, time outs, and gaining awareness of the building stages of anger.
b) Shame Based Anger
- If you identified with statements 13, 14, and 15, this style may describe you.
- Shame based anger perceives an attack on a person's core self. Anger may be directed to oneself through self destruction.
- Treatment includes addressing the connection between shame and rage, building self esteem, and addressing shaming and blaming issues.
c) Deliberate Anger
- If you identified with statements 16, 17, and 18, this style may describe you.
- Deliberate anger is expressed purposely in order to intimidate.
- Treatment includes discussing the gains and losses of the behavior, empathy training, and communication skills training.
d) Excitatory Anger
- If you identified with statements 19, 20, and 21, this style may describe you.
- Excitatory anger seeks the intensity that comes with a rush of anger.
- Treatment includes commitment to moderation and calmness, seeking a new lifestyle, and acknowledging stimulant addiction pattern.
Chronic Styles - These individuals have developed long term anger patterns that keep them angry, bitter, and resentful.
a) Habitual Anger
- If you identified with statements 22, 23, and 24, this style may describe you.
- Habitual anger is fueled by automatic thoughts and actions, and perpetuates non-functional anger.
- Treatment includes increasing awareness of behavior, focusing on a person's choices, and practicing new behavior.
b) Moral Anger
- If you identified with statements 25, 26, and 27, this style may describe you.
- Moral anger is perceived as just, righteous, for a greater cause than oneself.
- Treatment includes empathy in order to de-villianize others, and emphasis on humanity and equality.
c) Resentment / Hate
- If you identified with statements 28, 29, and 30, this style may describe you.
- Resentment causes one to treat others as loathsome and unforgivable.
- Treatment includes giving acceptance to oneself as gift, learning to let go of the past, and resentment prevention.
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